Learn how to break the addiction cycle as an adult child of an alcoholic. Understand the impact of trauma, alcohol on the brain, and discover healthy coping tools for a happier, healthier future.
Understanding the Connection: Trauma and the Addiction Cycle:
Growing up in a household with an alcoholic parent can have a profound and lasting impact on adult children. The addiction cycle has a tendency to perpetuate through generations unless the underlying issues are addressed. Children in alcoholic homes are more likely to experience trauma, leading to an increased risk of mood disorders such as major depressive disorder, bipolar disorder, and anxiety disorders. Additionally, they often fail to learn healthy coping skills necessary to deal with trauma, mood disorders, and everyday stressors. Instead, they observe their parents using alcohol as a means of coping. Consequently, individuals may turn to alcohol themselves, seeking relief from symptoms of depression, anxiety, bipolar disorder, and more.
The Impact of Alcohol on the Brain and Body:
To truly understand the addiction cycle, it’s crucial to examine how alcohol affects the brain and body. Our brains release dopamine—a chemical associated with pleasure—when we engage in activities that bring us joy, such as eating delicious food or socializing. Alcohol, in particular, stimulates the release of dopamine, flooding the brain with this feel-good chemical. This surge of dopamine contributes to the pleasurable effects we associate with alcohol consumption.
One crucial aspect of alcohol’s impact on the brain is its effect on dopamine release. Alcohol not only stimulates dopamine release but also inhibits NMDA receptors, which play a vital role in synaptic plasticity, learning, memory, and various neurological processes. This inhibition, coupled with the facilitation of dopamine release, activates the brain’s reward system. The reward system reinforces behaviors, including those related to substance use, making it more likely for individuals to continue drinking.
Furthermore, prolonged alcohol use leads to tolerance—the need for larger amounts of alcohol to achieve the same pleasurable effects. Alcohol can also cause changes in the brain’s structure and function, diminishing one’s ability to experience pleasure from other activities. This can contribute to the development of addiction. Moreover, alcohol exacerbates existing mental health issues, making symptoms worse. The illusion that alcohol helps stems from the activation of the brain’s reward system, but in the long run, the symptoms worsen, leading individuals to increase their alcohol consumption or continue relying on it. Additionally, alcohol impacts the gut biome, eroding the stomach lining and contributing to worsened physiological and mental health issues.
So now, combine all three issues discussed – mental health issues resulting from trauma and genetic predisposition, lack of healthy coping skills, and if you are already using alcohol, especially in larger quantities the physiological changes that alcohol has induced on the brain and body, so, as one can see it is hard to get out of cycle of addiction. I do want to note that not all ACOAs drink heavily or at all and have poor coping skills or even trauma, I am just naming all the possible things that impact the cycle of alcoholism in families.
How to break the cycle?
If you come from an alcoholic home and are looking to break the cycle, consider what stage are you in? Admitting that you have a problem with alcohol is a courageous and important first step if you do and if you haven’t developed a serious problem yet, you are completely correct to be worried and begin taking measures to prevent that from happening. By quitting alcohol your body can begin to heal from the adverse effects that alcohol has had on your brain and body. That is obviously step number one if you are a heavy drinker, however it is of course difficult to moderate if you are lacking healthy coping skills and suffer with mental health issues.
To work on the alcohol problem – you want to of course consider abstinence as the first step and get help either from a 12 step program, intensive residential or outpatient program, or work with a therapist, you might also consider turning to a psychiatrist for help with proper medication such as naltrexone. The second thing you want to do is work on the underlying condition that is creating the use of alcohol – work with a professional such as myself to identify the condition and get proper treatment. And the third most important aspect of breaking the cycle is learning healthy coping skills. You want to be able to process the negative emotional load that you are carrying and learn how to cope with the ghosts of the pasts as well as day to day stressors that inevitably present themselves. By uncovering and addressing these underlying issues, we can break free from the addiction cycle.
As far as coping skills go – the first skill you need to develop is the ability to observe your thoughts and feelings – to understand the difference between thoughts and emotions – your thoughts are not always true – we have about 70,000 thoughts per day – many of them are useless, many are a loop, some are useful – those are thoughts that help you solve problems, learn and use creativity. Negative thoughts about yourself and situations are normal and common, however, they are not always true and not always useful. Emotions are real and are a physiological process – they are worthwhile exploring, naming and identifying the root cause – and sometimes also finding coping tools to deal with overwhelming and negative emotions. When you can learn to understand your thoughts and emotions you can find a way to manage what is happening in your life instead of acting and reacting impulsive or destructively based on emotions and thoughts.Ways to train yourself to do that is through mindfulness meditation, journaling, therapy.
The second coping tool you want to develop is the ability to be compassionate to yourself – now, many people who come from trauma backgrounds squirm at the sound of self compassion, if you grew up with critical parents and have a negative self evaluating voice – you’re likely in that camp now! however developing the voice of self compassion is one of the most important skills for overcoming mental health issues including addiction. I like to think of self compassion as a voice that is there to soothe you no matter how badly you mess up, that voice can be warm, can be funny, charismatic. I will try to make a full video about why it’s important to develop, however, the best way to do it is in therapy – fiding a person who offers you compassion will help you internalize that voice and practice on yourself.
And other coping tools include talking to someone, breathing, art, journaling, exercise, there are hundreds of ways to cope that are healthy, however, they must be developed individually and practiced extensively.
Breaking the addiction cycle as an adult child of an alcoholic is a challenging but essential journey. By understanding the impact of trauma, recognizing the danger of alcohol on the body, dealing with mental health issues, and learning healthy coping skills you can break the cycle. Remember, it’s not a journey to embark on alone, so reach out for support when you need it, sign up for free programs such as 12 steps and Al Anon – I am also available for individual coaching. Together, we can break free from the chains of addiction and create a healthier, happier future. I hope you liked this video – feel free to post questions and impressions in the comments section and I will see you in my upcoming videos.
Happy Healing,
Sofya Vasilyeva
Check out my 8 week online course for adult children of alcoholics https://acoa.me/
Or my book on Amazon
Resources for adult children of alcoholics 
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