What is the ACOA Syndrome?

Growing up with an alcoholic parent can have a profound impact on a child’s life. The Adult Child of an Alcoholic (ACOA) Syndrome refers to a set of behavioral, emotional, and psychological traits that develop in individuals who grew up with an alcoholic parent. Here are some characteristics of the ACOA syndrome: 

1. Control: ACOAs may struggle with a need to control their environment and other people. They may feel that they had little control over their childhood and try to compensate by over-controlling other aspects of their life.

2. Perfectionism: ACOAs may develop a perfectionist streak as a way of coping with the chaos and unpredictability of growing up in an alcoholic household. They may feel that they need to be perfect to avoid criticism or to gain approval from others.

3. Fear of Abandonment: ACOAs may have a fear of abandonment, stemming from their childhood experiences. They may feel that people will leave them or that they are not worthy of love and attention.

4. Difficulty Trusting: ACOAs may struggle to trust other people. They may have learned that their alcoholic parent’s behavior was unpredictable, leading to a lack of trust in others.

5. Low Self-Esteem: ACOAs may struggle with low self-esteem. They may feel that they are not good enough or that they are to blame for their parent’s alcoholism. They may also have difficulty asserting themselves or expressing their feelings.

6. Problems with Intimacy: ACOAs may have difficulty forming close relationships or struggle with intimacy. They may be fearful of being vulnerable, or they may feel that they don’t deserve love and affection.

7. Overreacting: ACOAs may overreact to situations or people. They may be hypersensitive to criticism or feel that they are being attacked or judged, even when that is not the case.

8. Guilt and Shame: ACOAs may struggle with feelings of guilt and shame. They may feel that they are to blame for their parent’s alcoholism or feel that they should have done more to help.

9. Denial: ACOAs may struggle with denial, a defense mechanism that they developed as a way to cope with the difficult and traumatic experiences of growing up in an alcoholic household. They may have trouble acknowledging the reality of their childhood experiences or recognizing the impact that it has had on their life.

These characteristics can have a profound impact on an individual’s life, leading to difficulties in relationships, self-esteem, and other areas. Recognizing the signs of ACOA syndrome is the first step towards healing and recovery, and seeking professional help and support can make a significant difference in an individual’s life. With the right tools and resources, it’s possible to overcome the negative effects of ACOA syndrome and build a happy, healthy, and fulfilling life.

Check out my 8 week online course for adult children of alcoholics https://acoa.me/

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